zoo = diseased animals and people. Just like my life!

My first post this year. I should have known better when the new year starts there’ll be hell to pay with the results out and everything. It keeps getting better and better, like an alloy of new shit and old shit. Before I say anything, let me start of with this saying
“ when everything’s going your way, you’re in the wrong lane”!
Me and pangavani got so depressed, dejected, miserable and quite simply bored that we arranged to meet somewhere and just climb a bus and see where it goes. So being a festival today I didn’t care just woke up at 10 and got out of the house by 1230. This is the actual phone conversation as far as I can remember it, this is how it went

Karthik : Hey man. Aim totally bored and depressed. Just have to get out of the house.
Me : Yeah. I feel like shit. Cant stay in this hole anymore. Hey dude listen up I have a GREAT plan.
Karthik : what?
Me : How about we meet around 12:30 and
Karthik : And…………..( with unsurpassable excitement as if I just told him that I found the holy grail’s whereabouts)
Me : We’ll go to the Zoo! ( with extreme content)
Karthik : ???………( super sense of shock setting in) !@#$%^&*()_+{}:”>? ( a couple of minutes of swearing and he finally agrees)


I swear to you, today I climbed almost 16 to 17 buses. We first went to koti and then took a bus to ( I really don’t know where that bus goes but the zoo’s in the middle) and stop at the zoo. Now, at this point I choose the zoo park as I wanted to get away from all the city’s people and all the bull shit and was kind of hoping there wouldn’t be much people. Basically I wanted to run away from everything for a lil while and he felt the same too.

To my utter dismay there lay thousands of people. Endless lines and hurdes of small, stinky, smelly, shouting kids, high on sugar and sweets, dancing and prancing all around the fucking place as if the world is their play ground! All of them wearing fake plastic 5 bucks ke shades and their parents wearing one of those “99 bucks imported sun glasses” stores you see on every main road these days. I thought to myself “ Like parents like kids”. Then it hit me “ it’s a Sunday”. Karthik looked at me like he wanted to kill me. His exact words were “ what the fuck is with these kids, don’t they have school? I hate you man!!!”


We get inside the zoo. The aquarium was closed and sealed maybe cause all the fish are dead due to swimming all the time or may be cause the the zoo guys used tank bund's water for the aquarium. Then we saw the tortoises. I loved them. Lazy, fat, huge, over 150 years old. Then we got to the monkeys. They were all forced in a crappy tiny island about 40 feet in radius. Then I actually saw the red butt baboons mating! The funniest thing I have seen this year. Had two pepsi’s and 5 oil samosas for lunch and pointing to the small train that tours the entire zoo and started laughing and abusing all aboard the train. At one point we were so lost that we had to call a friend in chennai to find out where the food courts were!

I just wanted to get away today. Don’t know why but felt so lost and so alone. It feels like we are going no where in life.I’ll admit that I was very depressed. I knew that if i didnt go anywhere, it would have adverse and profound implications on my life today.

We just talked most of the time and joked for a little while. Then we started receiving threatening calls from our dads and we had to leave.


The things I have witnessed :

1) A parent helping her 3 year old kid shit right near the “ parrots cage”
2) People throwing bread crums and rocks to agitate the white tiger.
3) People trying to feed the monkeys even though there was explicitly a sign stating “ DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS”. Bunch of fucking redneck retards is all I can say.
4) Baboons humping and acting horny.
5) Rhinos and hippo’s conspiring and calculating the enough velocity and acceleration required to jump off the railing and go on a murder rampage.
6) Tons and tons of children screaming and crying and asking for their mommies to carry them.
7) A bunch of school idiots who came all the way from dilshuknagar to the zoo just to play cricket and they bought only one ball that fell into the alligators enclosure.
8) More and more kids creaming their ass off! I HATE KIDS!
9) A bunch of really sick lions with the words “ please kill me and stop the suffering” literally written on their foreheads. Poor things looked very diseased.
10) Wherever there were food courts there were toilets attached right next to them. Its like “ Eat here, shit there!”