back 4m crap!

Hola ppl! Its been roughly 3 months since i posted anything here. so here iam. Ill give u a low down on what happened the past 3 months. exams came exams came exams came exams came , exams goin on and on and on and on and on and the heatwave followed like a stick up its rectum! But then something happened. something that i thought was impssible but it happened anyway. Exams were over and so was the heatwave. HOLY VISHNU! it was actually getting pleasent day by day. Like somebody removed two gigantic needles from eyes. Fell a lot better now!

Tried for visa for the United States of Yamerica. Didnt get it. the white bitch that interviewed me probably thought i was a terrorist r someting but her lame excuse was ' I'm sorry sir but we arent sure you have strong ties to return back to you'r country" and handed a potential immmigrant and denial paper!

WOW i just have a few things to say about that:

1) 1stly BITCH plz ACTUALLY look at my credientials for once.

2) Nobody's timing you'r interview nor is the list going to the Guinness book of records. Take more than 30 sec to finish it.

3) If you are gonna reject my visa THEN FOR WHAT THE HELL DID I STAND IN THE FUCKING HOT CHENNAI SUN FOR OVER 2 HOURS?

Thats that. Chennai was horrible. All the precious 2 and half kilos i gained so painfully over the summer wasted in 2 hours of standing inline and sweating it out.

NOTE TO SELF : If ever a job offered in chennai DONOT TAKE IT!

Got back home. Downloading movies faster than i can even watch them. Thats about it bascially. Life's gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!

Coll starts in another 25 days. Our class will be comprimised of our New classmates(assholes) old classmates ( old assholes) and new psychotic lectureres ( even bigger assholes) and the princi (stupid asshole) and of course probably a new class. Cant wait to go( Big fat stupid lie).

Watched spidy 3 yest. So how many ppl kno that spiderman is really peter parker. What are they stupid???? why cant they release it in the news? Well either way toby had a good time jumping from place to place like a donkey kssing hot HOT women upside down. Way 2 go u mutant freak!

Same with superman. He puts on his glasses and wears his lingerie on the inside PRESTo he's clark. He wears it outside and removes his +10 sight glasses presto superman! Just simply amazing!

As usual politicians are stealing their asses off. Then they borrow stuff from world bank to keep the place together. Which they pay off the loan by increasing taxes. Which we pay. And round and round it goes.

Well the movies i did recomennd to watch are Blood Diamond( black dude's acting is awesome), Apolcalypto(thank god mel didnt involve jesus in this one. pretty good), An Inconvenient Truth( doc by AL gore former prez), and two more on my list a pursuit of happiness. still yet 2 catch that one and DIE HARD 4 live far or die hard or somethin. LOTSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOF explosives. FYI dont watch Next movie by nicolas cage. SUcks ass!

And for all you spidy freaks out there here is the real proof that spidy is indeed gay! check out the link http://www.gophergas.com/funstuff/spidergay.htm

Oh my god. I'm leading such a damn random life that i realize feb has only 28 days not 31 as usual month does. Stupid feb with only 28 days. Why the hell did they discriminate feb only? Needless to say i was shocked when i heard it was march lost 3 days without a warning. I totally lost track of date and time. And its gettin hot day by day. Its so hot that i rather microwave my face every 20 min so it beats the radiation coming 4m the sun. This is what my life is now. I wake up at 7(nowadays) then go to coll in a HELLHOLE bus crowded with assholes and your head could be near the driver while your ass would end up at the back of the bus magically. Dont ask me how thats possible. In RTC buses anything is possible. So i stand the whole 8kms. FUCKING FUCKING huge traffic jams blowing smoke directly into my lungs(reason y i didnt start smoking cause there's plenty of that coming for free). Eyes burn throat aches, legs ache an occasional asswipe sneezes right in your eye and some guy directly shoots his armpit stench 4m his shirt into my nose all the way till college. All this with the sun shinning brightly. Then i reach a bus stop 15 min away from the coll gate so i walk on the main road. To my left is a cremetary and to my right is also a cremetary and a bunch of food stalls and in the middle its me and the traffic. Yet i walk like a man lost in a burning desert with the will to survive and move on. Reach my class sir/ma'm yells " get the fuck out or i'll throw u out". So i loose 2 periods attendance the next period the sir yells 4 no reason. Lunch comes and everybody's a godamn scavenger hyenas tearing the food apart. Got no energy left to walk till the canteen so jus wade it out and the 3 period starts. Electronics usually so i'm sleepy with all the heat and prespiration. I beg water from my classmates and they show me the finger half the time. then the last period ends with a lot of yawning and drooling and cursing. With occassional shit that happens in coll daily just makes it more worse. Then comes the long journey back home at 4. The ALL MIGHTY BRIGHT SUN WITH ALL ITS PENENTRATING RADIATION shines upon me with all its glory and i curse it all along the 15 min walk to the bus stop. Then i climb another jacked off bus full of people and their overwhelming sweat at which point my nose stops working and all the nerve senses in my nostrils shutdown. All the pain senses also shutdown and i become numb with the 1hour 20 min tiring shitty shitty shitty ride back to my place where i come home and just fall down on my couch and watch tv till my parents arrive and shout at me for throwing my shoes here and there. I take a cold shower then just have some dinner and go to bed. SO in conclusion i did like to say SUMMER SUCKZ ASS! I HATE SUMMER! I HATE THE DAMN SUN! BLOODY GIANT GAS BALL ON FIRE!
FUCK YOU!

Its been a while since i put up a post. Here's what happened in the past twenty days in a nut shell. Exams came and went. As usual my over hyped total bullshit totally sold me out and i ended up gettin 5's and 6's out of 20. But so did many many other people from my class which made me a little happy. Apparently our Electrical Machines ma'm still doesn't know when to get out of the " quit being a bitch phase" and let me correct the papers liberally phase. So we get our marks. We frown for some time. The same old crap so continues the cycle of karma( what you do in the past semester really effects you in this one).

Valentine's came and went. Hey didnt that guy valentine die with his love? and we celebrate that day. What a bunch of cruel heartless savages are we?
Anyways i had a nice romantic dinner with some one really special that day. She's really hot. And she's sweet also. I'm not kidding thats what it says on her label. KISSAN tomato ketchup : Hot & Sweet. After that there was a line of holidays which i dont remember at all. Totally blank! Then same ol shit till the month slowly dragged its ass all the way to 25th feb.

Oh yea one more important thing. I got glasses. Yup. Thought i would never wear them and my eyes were super human in nature but sadly god deprived me of this super awesome power. Why god why? Why? Now it looks like an underwear for my head! Well atleast i'm not blind.

Well just had another weekend in misery and boredom. Monday again tomorrow. Why cant we all just live on the bora bora islands??? why cant we all be married to drew barrymore? why cant we all own a Bentley Continental GT car??? why cant the week follow as sunday, sunday, sunday tuesday, sunday, saturday, sunday, sunday, sunday? Why is koffee with karan such a gay gay show??? why is karan johar such a homo? One thing is for damn sure whoever said life is short is a drunken jackass as i came to life is the only bloody longest thing you'll ever do.

Hence every morning i start my day with Metallica's 4 horsemen then moving up2 megadeath and then coldplay. Make's your whole day worthwhile. Then catching up on some simpsons and heroes episodes basically raps it up. Guess ill go sleep now. Me and a couple of buddies spent all night playin gofish. Hems out.

Singers compose songs, I Decompose em.

Project Decomposition started off at 1:15 Am on 30th feb.
I had nothing to do so today i officially started my long time fascination with decomposing songs. A note though. If you never heard these songs before do listen to them understand the lyrics and then read the following if you really wanna feel the punch line! And for all who do know there's more to come people this is just a warm up! Make no mistake i love some of these songs. Just having fun. Enjoy!


BRYAN ADAMS

Song : Here I am


Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather pee
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make an ugly baby or two
It's a new world - it's a new start
It's New Mexico and it’s a 3rd world nation yaar
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for an hour
Here I am
Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time – I cant get her trouser button undone
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in her dads apartment underground
[Chorus]
Here I am - next to you
And your dad is lying between me and you
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now I gotta pay rent and wash his underwear
Here I am - this is me


LINKIN PARK

Song : In The End



(It starts with)
One thing I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how much you eat French fries
Keep that in mind I designed this rhymeTo explain in due time
All I know
Toilet paper is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as some fat guy cleans his thing
Watch him wipe it till the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look down the shit hole
Watching him fling the crap from his hole
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch a punk clean his bum
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all exploded out
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried TO FART
And it got so sharp
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fart
To start it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how much you love fries
Keep that in mind I designed this diet
To remind myself how
Hippos are so godamn fat
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your fat auntie
Remembering all the times you ate with me
I’m surprised you got so fat
Things aren’t the way they were before
My ass cant fit on this toilet seat anymore
Not that it did when I was 400 pounds
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all exploded out
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I had TO FART
And it sounded so harsh
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to pass gas
To free my ass
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my shit in you
Pushed as hard as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And you haven’t flushed the crap so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

Its amazing what your mind can think about when you're lonely sitting in your bedroom and staring at the ceiling. You wouldn't believe half the stuff that crept into my mind. I was supposed to be asleep with the sinus block and a damn pricking headache. I slept like the whole day and couldn't sleep any more. I was so dazed out and for a moment didnt know where i was. Just laying on the bed all kinds of thoughts flew while my mind was like an open door. Forget it. I had no door at all. No control on my thoughts whatsoever. I wanted it to stop but couldn't. I didnt know what time it was. Whether it was still 6 in the morning or 12 in the noon. didn't care. Any moment i was expecting my mom to barge inside my room shouting how crappy my bedroom gets every week. It's as clean as an empty room on every monday and by saturday its as messy as afganisthan. To my suprise i didnt hear anybody and frankly after a lot of time i liked all the silence. So i just lay there letting my brain go crazy. You wouldn't believe the random thoughts i had. I just wanted to sleep more. I dont know if it was a dream that i had, or whether an idea but i was hoping when i would wake up i'did be on the shore of a beautiful beach with sparkling sand,not a rainy cloud in the sky and soft pebbles and crystal blue water with not a soul in sight and the sea as far as the eye could see. Just me, only me and no one else.I could lay there looking at the sun dip and rise out of the sea for ever. Nothing mattered at that point. I was a guy with not a care in the world. Imaganing that i was relaxed and happy for a moment. This little hallucinated dream i had made me think when i was momentarily happy the last time? It was when my mom and dad were shopping at food world. It was chilly as hell around 12c and it was windy. I finished dumping all the groceries in the trunk of my car except one. we were driving back to the house when dad kept the heater on, i held in my hand a snickers bar. I took a big bite out of it and heard my self say " life's sweet". That was 2 years ago. I was suprised that i could still remember that.


Every one of my friends whom i either text message on the mobile or i chat with on the internet had only one word to say " Bored". I'm so sick of that word hearing it come out of my mouth and everybody else's every min of every hour of every day. Its lame but i'm slowly getting used to being bored. Life's just not interesting anymore. You can argue and speculate all you want. If your thinking of giving me a lecture on how its not and how to appreciate life.Please do keep that kind of shit to yourself. You're not fooling anybody. I began to wonder when was the last time i felt alive? No! i'm not depressed, i'm not sad, i'm not miserable, i'm not on a road to self destruction or psychopathic pattern. I'm Just Wondering. May be it's time you wondered too? When was the last time you felt alive?C'mon people it wouldn't hurt you to answer my question. I did really like to know.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU FELT ALIVE?

zoo = diseased animals and people. Just like my life!

My first post this year. I should have known better when the new year starts there’ll be hell to pay with the results out and everything. It keeps getting better and better, like an alloy of new shit and old shit. Before I say anything, let me start of with this saying
“ when everything’s going your way, you’re in the wrong lane”!
Me and pangavani got so depressed, dejected, miserable and quite simply bored that we arranged to meet somewhere and just climb a bus and see where it goes. So being a festival today I didn’t care just woke up at 10 and got out of the house by 1230. This is the actual phone conversation as far as I can remember it, this is how it went

Karthik : Hey man. Aim totally bored and depressed. Just have to get out of the house.
Me : Yeah. I feel like shit. Cant stay in this hole anymore. Hey dude listen up I have a GREAT plan.
Karthik : what?
Me : How about we meet around 12:30 and
Karthik : And…………..( with unsurpassable excitement as if I just told him that I found the holy grail’s whereabouts)
Me : We’ll go to the Zoo! ( with extreme content)
Karthik : ???………( super sense of shock setting in) !@#$%^&*()_+{}:”>? ( a couple of minutes of swearing and he finally agrees)


I swear to you, today I climbed almost 16 to 17 buses. We first went to koti and then took a bus to ( I really don’t know where that bus goes but the zoo’s in the middle) and stop at the zoo. Now, at this point I choose the zoo park as I wanted to get away from all the city’s people and all the bull shit and was kind of hoping there wouldn’t be much people. Basically I wanted to run away from everything for a lil while and he felt the same too.

To my utter dismay there lay thousands of people. Endless lines and hurdes of small, stinky, smelly, shouting kids, high on sugar and sweets, dancing and prancing all around the fucking place as if the world is their play ground! All of them wearing fake plastic 5 bucks ke shades and their parents wearing one of those “99 bucks imported sun glasses” stores you see on every main road these days. I thought to myself “ Like parents like kids”. Then it hit me “ it’s a Sunday”. Karthik looked at me like he wanted to kill me. His exact words were “ what the fuck is with these kids, don’t they have school? I hate you man!!!”


We get inside the zoo. The aquarium was closed and sealed maybe cause all the fish are dead due to swimming all the time or may be cause the the zoo guys used tank bund's water for the aquarium. Then we saw the tortoises. I loved them. Lazy, fat, huge, over 150 years old. Then we got to the monkeys. They were all forced in a crappy tiny island about 40 feet in radius. Then I actually saw the red butt baboons mating! The funniest thing I have seen this year. Had two pepsi’s and 5 oil samosas for lunch and pointing to the small train that tours the entire zoo and started laughing and abusing all aboard the train. At one point we were so lost that we had to call a friend in chennai to find out where the food courts were!

I just wanted to get away today. Don’t know why but felt so lost and so alone. It feels like we are going no where in life.I’ll admit that I was very depressed. I knew that if i didnt go anywhere, it would have adverse and profound implications on my life today.

We just talked most of the time and joked for a little while. Then we started receiving threatening calls from our dads and we had to leave.


The things I have witnessed :

1) A parent helping her 3 year old kid shit right near the “ parrots cage”
2) People throwing bread crums and rocks to agitate the white tiger.
3) People trying to feed the monkeys even though there was explicitly a sign stating “ DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS”. Bunch of fucking redneck retards is all I can say.
4) Baboons humping and acting horny.
5) Rhinos and hippo’s conspiring and calculating the enough velocity and acceleration required to jump off the railing and go on a murder rampage.
6) Tons and tons of children screaming and crying and asking for their mommies to carry them.
7) A bunch of school idiots who came all the way from dilshuknagar to the zoo just to play cricket and they bought only one ball that fell into the alligators enclosure.
8) More and more kids creaming their ass off! I HATE KIDS!
9) A bunch of really sick lions with the words “ please kill me and stop the suffering” literally written on their foreheads. Poor things looked very diseased.
10) Wherever there were food courts there were toilets attached right next to them. Its like “ Eat here, shit there!”

The ant and the grasshopper!

I got this in a fwd mail. Its so damn true and i hade to paste it here. Enjoy!




OLD VERSION...*

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summerlong building his houseand laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopperthinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Comewinter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food orshelter so he dies out inthe cold.

*MODERN VERSION*

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summerlong, building his houseand laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopperthinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Comewinter, the shiveringgrasshopper calls a press conference and demands toknow why the ant shouldbe allowed to be warm and well fed while others arecold and starving. NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of theshivering grasshopper nextto a video of the ant in his comfortable home with atable filled with food.The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How canthis be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of theant's house. MedhaPatkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppersdemanding thatgrasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates duringwinter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the IndianGovernment for notupholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.The Internet is floodedwith online petitions seeking support to thegrasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support asagainst the wrath of Godfor non-compliance). Opposition MP's stage awalkout.Left parties call for"Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding aJudicial Enquiry.CPM inKerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants fromworking hard in theheat so as to bring about equality of poverty amongants and grasshoppers.Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshopperson all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Preventionof Terrorism AgainstGrasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from thebeginning of the winter. Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for GrassHopper in educationalInsititutions & in Govt Services.The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGAand, having nothing leftto pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscatedby the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony coveredby NDTV.Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalucalls it 'SocialisticJustice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgenceof the downtrodden' Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UNGeneral Assembly. *Many years later...The ant has since migrated to theUS and set up a multibillion dollar company in silicon valley.100s ofgrasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India**... **As a result loosing lot of hard working ants andfeeding the grasshoppersIndia is still a developing country......*