roadtrip to ruins

It was like any other day I was just watchin tv on sat at 12 and all of a sudden its 3 in the evening and aim on my way to kurnool or nellore(really didn’t know where I was going till I got there, like I cared). Anywho the basic plan mom had some work and once that was done we gotta see the ruined old empire of vigaynagar samraj! Pretty good architectural skills I gotta say! Buliding extremely hard creations way on top of hills no one can reach! I didn’t quite understand the purpose of going through all that trouble. Krishna deva rai had like a palace for everything! I mean everything! One for taking a bath! One for drying yourself! One for eating! One for shitting! Sure,I mean its not like he built it himself! Thousands of people built it for him after being whipped on their spines forcing them to do it!
I enjoyed that one part, but what I hate about going on trips with my parents are they practically wanna visit every temple in the vicinity of 500 skms in one day! Get all the punyam you can get in a day offer or something! I hate that! I always hated that! Aren’t vacations all about kicking back and relaxing??
The real fun part was when we got to kurnool! There are only two means of entertainment there! One is to see cows and buffalos shit all around the road all over the place! That’s right! You heard me people pay good money to see domestic animals shitting everywhere! And coming to the other means of entertainment is porn movies! That’s right too! Porn movies! I was in the car just looking around and couldn’t help but laugh like crazy with the movie titles! For your better understanding I’ll write the name in telugu and translate in eng!

(1) E Ammaye ke 16e :
Translation : This girl’s only 16. And the ‘e’ after the 16 is for “only”! These guys should be arrested and beaten everyday with wrenches and potatoes, and should be made to spend half their life for making and watching underage porn. When will our people reliaze what’s illegal and what’s not! As if porn wasn’t enough now its underage porn! For all who are reading this please don’t entertain child pornography! Its sick, twisted and demeaning to all children!


(2) Andala Bhama :
Translation : Beautiful babe! Lik hell! Trust me! She’s not beautiful, and she’s definitely NOT a babe! What was the director thinking? NO no wait a sec, what was the censor board thinking? At this point I was practically falling out of the window laughing my head off!


(3) kaluthuna prema :
Translation : Burning Love! What in the hell is burning love?? She poured kerosene all over the guy and set him on fire or wut? 2 words eeew, groooos! This poster though really really made me puke and laugh simultaneously!

Well when I saw the next movie title ( not porn ) I knew it was time 2 die! Any guesses what it was?
RAKTHA SAMBHANDHAM!!!!!! I was like holy hell!! No way! The title it self suggested so much of crap encrypted in the movie!

At the outset my dad got sick of metallica, incubus and coldplay played over and over again!! For him its all noise! I succeeded in calling room service a thousand times and complaining about how the room sucks jus 4 fun! Dats my Christmas present to them! MERRY XMAS!

Reached home! Hungry, sick and miserable!

THE THINGS I HAVE LEARNT TODAY :

1) Dogs love to attempt suicide on national highways!
2) All stray dogs are dumb and stupid!
3) Cows absolutely LOVE 2 shit!